As we close out this week’s series of messages on boundaries, we would like to discuss how to know someone has changed enough to let them back into closer proximity to you.
You may have had to create a firm boundary with someone if their behaviour was inappropriate and unacceptable and wasn’t changing despite your making your feelings known. If you have been in an unhealthy dance with another for a long time, suddenly becoming firm and deciding you no longer wish to continue with them can seem like a rude awakening. It can feel like shocking someone awake with a bucket of cold water when they have been in a deep sleep.
任何被迫的、意想不到的變化都可能使另一個人陷入通常被稱為靈魂黑夜的境地。深刻的變化通常遵循與哀悼階段類似的步驟。從某種意義上說，他們正在為失去舊的存在方式而悲傷，即使這種存在方式並不是為了他們的最高利益。大多數人在面對這個問題時，會經歷以下幾個階段：
第一階段：震驚/否認
第二階段：情緒反應
第三階段：試圖保持不變而不改變
第四階段：情緒低谷
第五階段：開始改變
第六階段：倒退的誘惑
第七階段：真正的改變
Any forced, unexpected change can throw another into what is often referred to as the dark night of the soul. Deep change often follows similar steps to the stages of mourning. And they are, in a sense, grieving the loss of the old way of being, even if that way of being was not for their highest good. Most people, when faced with this, go through the following stages:
Stage One: Shock/denial
Stage Two: Emotional reaction
Stage Three: Trying to keep things the same without change
Stage Four: Emotional bottom
Stage Five: Opening to change
Stage Six: Temptation to backslide
Stage Seven: True change
當相關人員處於任何早期階段時，試圖強制執行更好邊界的人通常會動搖，但正如您所看到的那樣，過早放棄不會產生任何持久的變化。它只會同意繼續相同的舊模式。
It is common for people who are attempting to enforce better boundaries to falter when the person in question is in any of the earlier stages, but as you can see giving in too soon would not create any kind of lasting change. It would only be agreeing to continue the same old patterning.
人們確實一直在變化，事實上，這正是你所在的能量所堅持的。絕對會有人變得更好並成為一個安全的人再次靠近你的時候。但真正持久的改變是一個過程，需要自我意識、反省和真實而一致的行動步驟，以反映他們真正渴望與眾不同的願望。
People do change all the time, in fact, that is exactly what the energies you are in are insisting upon. There will absolutely be times when people change for the better and become a safe person to have near to you again. But true and lasting change is a process that requires self awareness, introspection, and true and consistent action steps that reflect their authentic desire to be different.
聰明的人不會急於回來，而是允許其他人有他們需要的時間和空間來擺脫舊的模式。如果這個人願意做改變的工作，如果你願意給他們做這項工作所需的空間，以及探索和治愈使你成為舊模式中願意跳舞的伙伴的原因，那麼絕對可以有機會以一種新的、更健康和互惠互利的方式重聚。〜大天使加百利通過雪莉·楊
It is a wise human being who doesn’t rush back in but allows the other the time and space they need to evolve out of the old patterning. If the person is willing to do the work of changing, and if you are willing to give them the space they need to do that work, as well as exploring and healing what made you a willing dance partner in the old patterning, there can absolutely be an opportunity to come back together in a new, far more healthy and mutually beneficial way. ~Archangel Gabriel through Shelley Young
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